another stream of consciousness

2026

how do people stop feeling so much, i feel so many emotions all the time but have to remain quiet. i have to be strong. this is the only place i can show weakness and say that im very unsure.

Movies I like:

• The Truman Show
• The Phantom of the Paradise
• The Mask
• The Nightmare Before Christmas

Beloved Shows and Series:

• Invader Zim
• Bojack Horseman
• Star Trek: The Original Series
• Marble Hornets
• Psych
• The Good Place

Favorite books, stories and comics:

• Johnny the Homicidal Maniac - Jhonnen Vasquez
• Rules for a Knight - Ethan Hawke
• The Book of Disquiet - Fernando Pessoa
• Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus - Mary Shelley
• Tell-Tale Heart - Edgar Allan Poe
• When the Wind Blows - Raymond Briggs
• Song of Solomon - Tony Morrison
• The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
• Almond - Won-Pyung Sohn
• Giovanni's Room - James Baldwin

Hobbies and activities:

• Sewing
• Learning American Sign Language
• Collecting old technology
• Gardening
• Learning more about ciphers, everything I've made thus far are very basic and I aim to improve

Games I fancy:

• Animal Crossing
• LSD Dream Emulator
• Super Mario Galaxy
• Rhythm Heaven

we look to a lot of shows to learn how to be normal, and learn how to follow logic and reasoning instead of feeling. I feel so much that I worry I'd be impulsive and all over the place, or even worse, push people away. I needed a way to cope, so I made all of this to realize my thoughts. i hope i don't sound crazy, i know i don't make sense. its just nice being able to scream into an abyss.