i had a talk with --- and i ranted about how weird it is to see everyone on their phones, how now people dont ackowledge you, how alone i feel. its normal apparently. everyone is like that now. and i have to accept it. i used to feel alone as a kid, but that was because i was bullied. now no one bullies me but no one acknoweldges me either. my friends dont feel like friends. i cant go to them for my emotions. i help them. when i talk about my feelings they give short responses that feel so forced or have expressions so disgustingly acted on that i stop immediately. its so lonely now. i just cry when no one is around and solve my own issues. --- says im acting weird. im just sad. A friend recommended someone talk to me about an issue they had, telling them i always have good advice. That someone asked "if everyone is coming to ______ for advice, who is helping _____?" but can anyone help me? no one cares. even i dont, im not sure why i feel so sad about it now when its happened for years. im having another episode but its okay, its helpful for me to have these. its the only time i dont feel meh but actually have an emotion i can pinpoint like sadness. i have to get back to drawing, not crappy art but actual art.i like drawing crappy stuff here so i can explore without being so tied to ego. "ah yes let me show my beautiful rendering skills!" no you get clunky lasso tool circle drawn by a mousepad, as the gods intended, of course.
August 2 2026